Exhaustion... Isn't it miserable?

So, here I am at work and the kids are being relatively good. Now that's saying something! Only I can barely keep my eyes open just sitting here. Anyone ever have to deal with that? I do! With IH as I said in my previous post that I have, comes EXTREME exhaustion! It's miserable! I wake up tired. I feel like a could sleep a week and STILL be tired! Now imagine feeling like this EVERYDAY! It's irritating.... And no one ever gets it! I could say I'm tired, and all they say, "Well, go take a nap." Except I could take a nap and still wake up tired. I once slept like ALL day (Still don't know how my family allowed me to), and still went to bed early and slept in late. How is that?! I also suffer from insomnia... Add that to always being tired. Not a good mix! It's just so hard to make it through the day without falling asleep on my feet. People can try to understand how I feel most of the time, but they don't, no matter how hard they try. So imagine trying to do everyday things with this extreme exhaustion I have... Really hard! I have to get up at the crack of dawn EVERY morning and take stupid medicine that doesn't seem to help me. I have to get ready for work and be out the door around 7 A.M. Then I have to deal with these hoodlums that drive me to the point of INSANITY! And try not to fall asleep randomly throughout the day. Then I get home and try to spend as much time with my family as possible before I go to sleep earlier than my little brother does so that way I can have a decent amount of sleep. (Even though it doesn't help with the tiredness all day). And on top of all of that, the medicine the doctors keep putting me on, even though it doesn't help, causes drowsiness. Oh, joy! So enough of me rambling about tiredness and random things I need to sign off and get back to seriously thinking of duct taping the kids in the closet! JK... Maybe...

Introducing Myself

Hello. Probably no one will ever read this blog but me, but it's a way for me to get my feelings out and not hurt anyone. Let's just call me an overstressed individual who has a lot going in her world and needs a place to vent. I'm a teenager trying to live in this adult world with troubles most teenagers couldn't even fathom! I have this rare disease called Intracranial Hypertension or most people know it as Pseudotumor Cerebri. Intracranial hypertension (IH), sometimes called by the older name pseudotumor cerebri (PTC), is a neurological disorder that is characterized by increased intracranial pressure (pressure around the brain. The main symptoms are headache, nausea, and vomiting, as well as pulsatile tinnitus (buzzing in the ears synchronous with the pulse), double vision and other visual symptoms. If untreated, it may lead to swelling of the optic disc in the eye, which can progress to vision loss. A lot to take huh? Yeah, that's been my life for about a year. No one knows what causes it and no one has a cure. The doctors think they have a cure with people who aren't stereotypical in todays society i.e people who aren't skinny. Now, I'm not your typical girl, I'm NOT skinny and I won't pretend to be. But I'm not huge either. But all the doctors see is a girl who's not 100 pounds soaking wet. So what's their cure? Just lose weight. Well, that's hard you see. Women they work, and work and work to lose the weight and they maybe will lose 5 pounds. A man? He might think of skipping a meal in his life and lose 10 pounds. So, it's hard, but with odds stacked against you like I do? Well it makes it almost impossible! So here I am working my butt off to lose weight and what happens? I stay in this stupid range of weight and won't go down at ALL! I also have a job and try to live as normal a life as I can, with being in the hospital ALL the TIME! So, what job could a teenager get and wouldn't get fired by all the times she's had to miss work? A nanny. I'm a nanny to three hoodlums...Achm three kids with problems I won't even begin with this post. You'll probably hear more about them as I vent out my frustrations in the form of this blog. My employers, well... one of my employers is really good about me being in the hospital all the time. So, I have this nanny job and it pays okay. Do I think I'm getting paid enough? Heck no! But its reasonable and I have a sense of normalcy in my life for now. So, this is my life, and now you know just some of my frustrations that would make me an overstressed individual.